An Article I've Read Twice !!!

 

The Five Stages of Grief :

-    The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as The Five Stages of Grief, is a theory first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying, which was inspired by her work with terminally ill patients.


-    Kubler-Ross was extremely disturbed by the lack of curriculum in medical school that addressed death and dying, so when she became an instructor at the University of Chicago medical school, she started a project about death. This evolved into a series of seminars, and those interviews, along with her previous research, led to her book Her work revolutionized how the medical field took care of the terminally ill.. Her five stages of grief have now become widely accepted.


Kubler-Ross's theory:
                       -   can be used for anyone experiencing a loss, for example bereavement, or even separation and divorce.
                       -   states that these stages are not meant to be complete or chronological.
                       -   holds that not everyone who experiences a life-threatening or life-altering event feels all five of the responses nor will everyone who does experience them do so in any particular order.

                       -   The theory is that the reactions to illness, death, and loss are as unique as the person experiencing them. Some people may get stuck in one stage.

-   These theoretical stages of coping with dying are now frequently referred to as (1) the Kübler-Ross model, (2) The Five Stages of Dying, (3) The Five Stages of Grief, (4) The Five Stages of Loss, (5) The Five Stages of Coping with Dying, (6) The Five Stages of Coping with Grief or (7) The Five Stages of Coping with Loss.





-   The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:

1. Denial:

e.g. "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."

      Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage.

2. Anger:

e.g. "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"

     Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, and especially those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief.

3. Bargaining:

e.g. "I'll do anything for a few more years..."; "I will give my life savings if..."

     The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..." .. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.

4. Depression:

e.g. "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"

     During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.

5. Acceptance:

e.g. "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."

     In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.

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A Case of Grieving a Break-up:

1. Denial:
                 The person getting broken up with is unable to admit that the relationship is really over. They may try and continue to call the person when they want to be left alone.

2. Anger:
                When the reality sets in that the relationship is over it is common for them to demand answers to why they are being broken up with. This phase can make them feel like they are being treated unfairly and it may cause them to become angry at people close to them that want to help aide the situation.

3. Bargaining:
                        Bargaining comes after the anger stage and this is when people try and plead with their former partner by promising them that whatever caused the break up will never happen again. Example: “I promise I will never cheat on you again.”

4. Depression:
                        Next the person might feel discouraged that their bargaining plea did not convince their former partner to change their mind. This will send the person into the depression stage and can cause a lack of sleep, eating and even daily life tasks.

5. Acceptance:
                        Moving on from the situation and person is the last stage. The person accepts that the relationship is over and begins to move forward with their life. The person might not be completely over the situation but they are done going back in forth to the point where they can accept the reality of the situation.


-     Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to people suffering from terminal illness. She later expanded this theoretical model to apply to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). Such losses may also include significant life events such as the death of a loved one, major rejection, end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction, incarceration, change in office environment, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, as well many tragedies and disasters.